We’d usually just blurt something like this to Facebook, but we aren’t there at the moment because of Zuck’s misogyny, etc., and the boycott of Meta apps. We need to process all this somehow though, so it’s a blog post. Basically, we committed to doing something way out of our comfort zone, thanks to the support of others, but it was entirely ruined because of Storm Eowyn, and we’re sad. There’s a lot of backstory and a little history…
Ben and Craig fall in love
For many years our husband, Ben, has done various (often ridiculous) jollies around remote parts of Scotland with his brother-in-law’s ex-brother-in-law, Craig. They met just over a decade ago at a family wedding, and immediately bonded over their love of film, and the great outdoors. Ben started getting involved with the 48-hour film projects Craig led, and was involved in the creation of Craig’s feature-length film, Crooked Frames (which has been in post-production for many years, and there’s still no idea if or when it will be finished).
We met Craig when we went up to Edinburgh with Ben for one of the Crooked Frames visits in 2018.
They have undertaken many ‘holidays’ to bothies, often very far from civilisation and with very basic facilities, a lot of walking, and inclement weather. Craig has also been arranging gatherings for his friends in big old houses for decades, Ben has been to a couple of the more recent ones, held in Saddell Castle and Gargunnuck House.
Gargunnock House
Gargunnock House has over 500 years of history, it started as a fortified tower and over the centuries had various wings and rooms added, with the last big changes in the late 18th century when the Georgian-style facade was added to the front of the house.
It’s even thought that Chopin played the piano that was bought in 1848 for the drawing room when he was touring Scotland with his pupil, Jane Stirling.
When the last descendant of the Stirling owners, Viola Stirling, died in 1989, she left the house to the trustees with the hope it could be ‘preserved and administered so as to exemplify and perpetuate the tradition of Scottish country life' and used for `quiet perambulation and contemplation', Landmark subsequently got involved with the renovation and it is now let for holidays.
We get an invite?!
Anyway, so it’s old and fancy, it sleeps 16, and the usual group was pretty neurodiverse, and a nice bunch of people. We still were shocked when Ben asked us months ago if we’d like to come with him, he was also getting together with Craig before the Gargunnock weekend to do a bothy trip though, so we would have to get trains from Penrith to Stirling where he would pick us up.
This weekend has caused so much anxiety for months. Every time we started the “we don’t want to go” conversation we’d end up deciding we wanted to go. It’s been months of back and forth, anxiety, anticipation, excitement, and dread.
At Christmas, we again decided we didn’t feel we could go, and tried, again to get Ben to tell Craig we weren’t coming. Mostly because of getting multiple trains with all our stuff for 3 days (which included a massive Oreo tofu cake and an even bigger Care Bear, which we can’t sleep without). We’d also have to leave our dog, Jason, for three days with our parents. He’d be ok, but we haven’t been separated from him for more than a few hours for years, and it would be hard for us, and harder for him.
But our very kind Mum (AKA Granma) suggested she, our Dad (Grandad), and Jason hire a cottage close to the house, which relieved a lot of our anxieties, and she got one close to the big house booked.
We traveled up to Penrith last Tuesday, Ben left for his bothying on Wednesday, and us, Granma, Grandad, and Jason travelled to Briar Cottage in Gargunnock on Thursday. Then the weather warnings started.
Storm Eowyn
We knew there was a storm that would be hitting Ireland and Scotland that weekend, we just had no idea how bad it would be.
First trains were all cancelled for the Friday across all of Scotland, and there were warnings not to travel. So, if we’d been getting the train as we originally planned, we wouldn’t have got there. And if the cottage hadn’t been the same price for 4 nights as it was for 3 nights, we wouldn’t have made it up either.
Other big house attendees were having travel problems, with all trains cancelled and advice not to travel. One guy managed to hire a car, people were offering to taxi others, and we also had worries about Ben, Craig, and Lewis, who hadn’t been in touch since Wednesday, probably didn’t have any phone signal, and we didn’t know if they’d received the weather warnings.
We’d already told them all they could come to our cottage if they were back before they could access Gargunnock House. We heard from Craig when he managed to get a little signal on Thursday night saying they were safe and would be trying to get down from the bothy before the storm fully hit on Friday morning.
They safely got to us before 10am, and Craig soon got the news that GH hadn’t been cleaned after the last party of people because of the storm. He pushed back, trying to get them to let us access anyway, but they weren’t having it. It would have been fun if the four of us could have got in it alone.
Fortunately, it was ok, we had spare beds in the cottage so everyone could crash there comfortably on Friday night, and Landmark said we could get in it at 2pm on Saturday. We spent the Friday watching the storm come in… Various exclamations of it being ‘disappointing’, seemed pretty stupid to us, it was enough to blow off the gates to the cottage garden, and damage Granma’s fence at home, which would have been worse had our brother not done quick fixes and held them up at times (which we wish we’d seen).
Friday night was a very strange but pleasant evening, Ben cooked the bolognese he had intended to cook on Saturday. We had good crack. Lewis very patiently listened to many stories from us and Granma. Everyone loved Jason. We enjoyed that Craig joined us for a couple of glasses of wine. Everything was fine, and it meant us leaving Jason for one less night, so wasn’t terrible.
No Gargunnock
But, on Saturday, Craig got the message that Gargunnock House was without power and they had no timeframe for when it would be back. We prayed for a miracle. It didn’t work. Early afternoon it was decided that was that, and others in the group started planning a house party in Edinburgh.
We could have gone, but neither we, nor Ben, felt like making the hour-plus journey to Edinburgh, and a house party of strangers is very different to a big house for a weekend with strangers. To say we were disappointed is an understatement.
The effort Craig, Ben, and others put into the weekend planning was terrific, and for nothing. Our parents had spent hundreds of pounds on a cottage for no reason. Yes, Ben, Craig, and Lewis did their bothying, which was successful despite the storm, Lewis was a bothy virgin and has said he’d like to be invited again, just not when a storm is on its way, but there was a lot not happening that should have happened.
We tried to stay strong and not cry. Granma knew how affected we were though. At one point Craig pointed out that others out there were having a much worse time than us, which is valid but also just because others have it worse doesn’t make our situation better. After a while, we gave up and retreated to our bedroom with Jason for a big cry. We know we have to let the feelings out, or they just come back later, bigger and stronger. And there was a lot of disappointment and sadness, there still is. Craig and Lewis left early Saturday afternoon, and we managed a little walk to a nearby waterfall and played some board games in the cottage.
Let’s just go home.
We could have stayed in the cottage until Monday, but no one was feeling it anymore, and we just wanted to go home and cry, to be honest. We’ve been debilitated from doing a lot because of how much space this has taken up in the brain, especially throughout January.
We guess the positives are we tried, even if our mum did need to take us, Jason didn’t have to sleep alone, without us, so that was good for him. It was very fortunate for Ben, Craig, and Lewis that they had somewhere to retreat locally while the storm was raging and their accommodation was a no-go. And we have an entire Oreo tofu cake to eat.
Craig has said it might be a couple of years until it happens again, and they all said next time they won’t be combining bothying with Gargunnocking. So if/when it does happen again we can just travel with Ben, and there will be much less faff.
It’s Sunday now and we’re sat in the back of our parents’ car travelling back to Cumbria a day early, writing on our phone. It’s just so much. So much anxiety. So much fear. So much effort. So much excitement. So much, so much, so much. Such fighting to get here and the idea of spending a weekend with 13 strangers, Ben, and Craig, has been, well, so much.
We’re sad we didn’t get to hear Kit play the piano Chopin played on, we’re sad we didn’t have the meals sat around the massive table in the dining room, we’re very sad we didn’t get to experience Dungeon Ball (it's a secret what it is, and people aren’t allowed to discuss it outside of Dungeon Ball, so we don’t know what we missed, but we’re sad). We’re sad we didn’t get to pretend to be a lady. We’re sad we didn’t get to meet our lovely friend who happened to live locally and was going to pop and see us on Saturday.
It was an amazing opportunity for hopefully a lot of fun, even if it was so far out of our comfort zone. So we’re sad. And we needed to make some words about how sad we are. Hopefully, it’ll happen again sometime, and, hopefully, it will be easier for us next time, now we’ve already got so close once before.
At least you tried, and though it may not have been the experience you hoped for, it sounds like the night in the cottage with everyone was nice.