Dissociative Wisdom - An introduction

A discovery and healing journey from the depth of a manufactured system

TW: RAMCOA, ritual abuse, mind control, organised abuse, programming, OEA, organised extreme abuse, trafficking, sexual abuse

First of all a massive thank you to DID we write for offering us a space to speak up and share about our experiences. We are so very grateful for this opportunity. Well, and very nervous about speaking up when most of the world do not even know what DID is and more often than not there is a total lack of awareness around RAMCOA, ritual abuse, mind control and organised abuse. We are very passionate about raising awareness about both DID and especially RAMCOA (Some of you might prefer the term OEA, organised extreme abuse but we feel that doesn't quite include all of our experiences...).

If you/yous decide to read on we would like you to be careful and be aware that what you read here might be very triggering and overwhelming. But we hopefully will get the trigger warnings right for each post. It might raise questions whether this could possibly be true or not. Unfortunately it is, and believe us we often wished that we would just make this all up. But after years of therapy and connecting in peer support groups where other systems speak up and share about their unbelievable and extremely terrible experiences, we can't keep the belief that we are making it up anymore. This does happen. We've heard from too many systems from all around the globe share about the same horrors. And it might challenge your beliefs and world views in extreme ways...

So, please look after yourselves! Listen to your body, to the others inside, take breaks, allow denial if that's helpful, come back when you are ready, and most importantly sandwich any reading or researching about RAMCOA with some nice things, because the good stuff, the beautiful, the little things that make us smile are real too and are so very important when facing the cruelty and sadistic methods used in our lived experiences.

Not all that we share will be about the hard and unbelievable stuff. We are sharing about our healing journey and want to share about hope and how to get through the discoveries of our memories, our alters/headmates and claim life again after such horrific experiences but we will also talk about some of our experiences in more detail. Having said that there won't be any trauma dumping, but naming of experiences, no explicit descriptions or naming of places or people who were involved. The later would equal a death sentence. So, those places and people's names are safely stored with trusted friends... Just in case...

This is the first time that we are publicly speaking up about our experiences. We've been thinking about using our voice for quite some time now but so far we felt it was too dangerous for us to do so.

Why? You might ask...

Well, we are a torture based, manufactured DID system and we can't be careful enough. What we've learned over the last 4 years, since our main host suddenly disappeared over night and we woke up as P., a 25ish year old male, in a nearly 50 year old body, has blown our minds away...

It's been an unbelievable journey of discoveries that would make Marvel look boring. It's been a terribly scary and utterly overwhelming time, most of the time. But also a time of overwhelming support from some brave friends and especially from our therapists who never shy away from what we have to share.

The most crazy thing is that we had no idea that we are a DID system until the host disappeared a few years ago, although she had always wondered why we didn't have DID... She knew quite a lot about the home abuse but only very little about the ritual abuse, mind control and trafficking that happened in the underbelly of her life.

For now, this will be all we want to say. There will be more but we also need to give everyone inside time to getting used to this whole idea of speaking up. As always their well-being is our first priority. We wouldn't be able to function as a system if we ignored our insiders with their needs, their fears and opinions on everything we do.